The Guy's Guide to Sex and Relationships

Now, one day I was having one of my usual biweekly lunches with my favorite Scottie, when we stumbled onto a common topic of conversation. Guys. Relationships. Dating. All that fun stuff. When all of a sudden a brilliant idea popped into that brain of mine (don't ask me how I made this connection), but I guess I love putting life into metaphors, so it wasn't too far fetched for me.
Here's the deal: how do you help guys understand women? Can the sexes truly ever get each other and what the other party wants out of the relationship, be it a fling, short term dating, a long relationship, whatever. You make it so that they can relate it to something guys get. No, not sports, that's cheesy (teamwork, camraderie, running around in sweaty uniforms, not my idea of relationship material). So what do you guys usually have good relationships with?

Cars.
Guys treat their cars better than they treat most people. They take pride in their cars, maintain them, wash them, add new things to them, research them, know a lot about them, etc. So I thought, why not give guys an idea of how to treat a girl, how to look at relationships and sex through the perspective of cars!
Here goes nothing...

First of all, when you are looking for a car, do you usually do some kind of research about it and test drive it or just buy it and drive it off the lot? Well, I guess that's a pretty obvious statement, but this is somewhat of an issue for guys. This applies to a few things when it comes to women.
As they say, you can't judge a book by its cover. Just like with cars, you can't believe everything you see or hear at first glance. A shiny exterior or leather upholstery may look great and make you feel like a baller, but what if the ride absolutely sucks or there's awful gas mileage? You have to do your research, test drive it, make sure it hasn't been damaged in the past and just repainted to make it look presentable. Same goes with girls - you have to get to know a girl, find out her interests, what's her favorite thing to eat on a Sunday for breakfast, if she likes to wear heels or flats, how her relationship is with her older brother, in order to figure out whether you actually like her. This all happens before you go in for the kill. And trust me, it will make it all the better when it does happen.
Another way to look at it is in terms of "test driving" the woman. Yes, it kind of sounds vulgar but go with it - how are you going to know if the ride is if you don't test drive it. I mean, a Kia Spectra may be all "luxury" with its leather seats, air conditioning, and power windows, and a sleek body (if you think Kia Spectra is sleek), but have you ever driven one? Yea...not so much. Same thing in terms of sex - if you hold off until the end, how are you going to know that you're not going to be disappointed, just like an engine is measured by its horsepower output, so too you must gague a woman with her passion in bed ;)

Here's another thought: if somone gave you the opportunity to test drive an Enzo Ferrari, one of the world's most coveted and exotic legal sportscars, would you say "Eh, no thanks, I don't think I can ever buy that, so I'm gonna have to pass." Um, you'd be kind of ridiculous if you ever did that. So, I'm not saying you should sleep with every bimbo that flashes you a smile (or something else for that matter).